THE LAW OF LEAST EFFORT

REALLY? 3 POINTS TO A GREATER LIFE?

I do not think so...but who I am to say...I have not practiced it yet.

So according to this law, if you observe nature at work, you will see that least effort is expended. Grass doesn’t try to grow, it just grows. Fish don’t try to swim, they just swim. Flowers don’t try to bloom, they bloom. Birds don’t try to fly, they fly. This is their intrinsic nature. And it is human nature to make our dreams manifest into physical form, easily and effortlessly.

Least effort is expended when your actions are motivated by love, because nature is held together by the energy of love. When you seek power and control over other people, you waste energy. When you seek money or power for the sake of the ego, you spend energy chasing the illusion of happiness instead of enjoying happiness in the moment. When you seek money for personal gain only, you cut off the flow of energy to yourself, and interfere with the expression of nature’s intelligence. But when your actions are motivated by love, there is no waste of energy.

So back to the case in point.

There are three components to the Law of Least Effort — three things you can do to put this principle of “do less and accomplish more” into action. The first component is acceptance. Acceptance simply means that you make a commitment: “Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur.” This means I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. This moment is as it is because the entire universe is as it is.

When you struggle against this moment, you’re actually struggling against the entire universe. Instead, you can make the decision that today you will not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against this moment. This means that your acceptance of this moment is total and complete.When you feel frustrated or upset by a person or a situation, remember that you are not reacting to the person or the situation, but to your feelings about the person or the situation. These are your feelings, and your feelings are not someone else’s fault. When you recognize and understand this completely, you are ready to take responsibility for how you feel and to change it. And if you can accept things as they are, you are ready to take responsibility for your situation and for all the events you see as problems.

Responsibility

This leads us to the second component of the Law of Least Effort: responsibility.

Responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself. Having accepted this circumstance, this event, this problem, responsibility then means the ability to have a creative response to the situation as it is now. “This moment is as it should be.” Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.

Defenselessness

The third component of the Law of Least Effort is defenselessness, which means that your awareness is established in defenselessness, and you have relinquished the need to convince or persuade others of your point of view. If you observe people around you, you’ll see that they spend ninety-nine percent of their time defending their points of view. If you just relinquish the need to defend your point of view, you will in that relinquishment, gain access to enormous amounts of energy that have been previously wasted.

When you become defensive, blame others, and do not accept and surrender to the moment, your life meets resistance. Any time you encounter resistance, recognize that if you force the situation, the resistance will only increase.Completely desist from defending your point of view. When you have no point to defend, you do not allow the birth of an argument. If you do this consistently — if you stop fighting and resisting — you will fully experience the present, which is a gift.

If you embrace the present and become one with it, and merge with it, you will experience a fire, a glow, a sparkle of ecstasy throbbing in every living sentient being. As you begin to experience this exultation of spirit in everything that is alive, as you become intimate with it, joy will be born within you, and you will drop the terrible burdens and encumbrances of defensiveness, resentment, and hurtfulness. Only then will you become lighthearted, carefree, joyous, and free.

This is all according to Deepak Chopra.I have never had any interest in anything close to religion or philosophy. So when I came across this article while researching Noetic sciences, I was a bit intrigued. I am not saying that I will start practicing the law. I am too grounded in daily chaos to think and analyze everything I am doing, but I have to admit, its an interesting theory and for those who go into the trouble of practicing it...Kudos.

Definitely not for someone like me.I am happy,I think, with my ego, my arguments and my life. In general. I hate accepting my faults, being defenseless and apologizing for anything, even if its my fault.

I am everything that this article tells us not to be. AND I love me. AND I guess according to Deepak,I will never be lighthearted, carefree and free.

Bah.

good music for the soul - Veitnam?? NAH !!!!!!

Is it too much to ask? everywhere in the world, there should be a TC.

For those who do not know what I mean - TC aka Turquoise cottage is a very well known rock bar in New Delhi, India. That was where my life began and ended...That was where I met all my friends...Hell, that was where I met my husband...

Here in Hanoi, which is like a village compared to Delhi, its obviously too much to ask for. People go out here, sit by the lakes, eat bun Cha and pho and if they really want to party, go to karaoke. Or to the countless clubs here which continuously dish out vapid soulless music.

The only half decent bar is the Irish wolfhound( lets face it - The Irish rarely disappoint) but even that is not a full out rock pub.

AND - let me admit it now, once and for all - I HATE KARAOKE.

EVEN if its rock, Even if its by my good friends.

I hate any kind of live music in bars.

Let me clarify - I love live music per se...I would love to go to concerts...Going to a Linkin park concert is my dream. But I cannot stand even the rock bands that come and perform in bars. They may be good but nothing beats the real thing.

I want a place, a real place, not youtube, where I can listen to great music. Do not get me wrong, I have nothing against other genres - I like hip hop, trance, sometimes even Damien Rice. But I cannot stand this utter disregard for music in bars and pubs. I am not built that way. For me to enjoy myself and get high and have a great time, I need a pub atmosphere, cool people who understand music, not wannabes, good beer and some Linkin park. Not too much to ask for...right?

Wrong.

its next to impossible here in Hanoi.

If there is anything I miss about Delhi - its not my family, not the food, friends. I miss my watering hole, my music haven, the most.

The thought is pretty disturbing.

But thats what it is.

my wish list

Its not that I cannot go and buy all these things right now...its just that I have other things to buy...thats how things work, right. You have baby things, you have swimming lessons, emergencies and impromptu trips to places around Hanoi. All of which results in me NOT indulging in what I have to get...and that list has grown and grown. Now I have decided to get a credit card just to take care of all of the below listed things, once and for all. I know, I know. Drastic. But if I do not do this, I will never, AND I mean NEVER, get around to buying all this...at least not in the next 2 years....so here goes.

1. a good cellphone: an HTC touch
2. clothes: dozens and dozens of dresses, tights and shoes - flats, slippers and heels...everything
3. rings - i love wearing huge rings on my fingers and I seem to have lost all of them
4. get my hair styled and colored in a nice salon
5. a pedi, mani and a face massage and the works - you will not believe the courage you require to walk into a salon here in Hanoi...you never know what they will end up doing to you and what they will use. So maybe, for this , I have to wait until I go back to Delhi
6. a lovely expensive big bag- with studs and leather / crocodile skin- man, are they expensive
7. i lost my ipod and my sony usb cum player...so need music on the go...
8. I have a mac...from my office...its mine as long as I stay in the job...obv...but i want one...of my own!!!SO i can have the freedom to quit...hehee...sounds like I work because i have a mac...maybe true.
9. buy more and more books...well...let me clarify...its very difficult to get english novels here...sorry..let me rephrase...its very difficult to get anything english here..Hence my yearning for some good reading material
10. Lasik surgery (and in Hanoi, its cheap- only 13 million for both eyes. And oh, 13 million is the denomination here and it converts to 637USD ONLY)- I do not have very poor eyesight, but i fear I am getting there - My head and eyes have started hurting regularly and I fear I might become one of those people with huge bottle glasses
11. going to the james blunt concert in Shanghai...I know he is a whiner and is always singing depressing songs.. and he's so so gay...but hate me for it...I like him..so would love to go.(Note: my dream is to go to a Linkin park concert...but do not know of any upcoming ones in Asia)
12. AND finally, the energy that i had when i was just a few years younger...like 26-27.Okey, just one night on the town...after i have slept the whole day, or spent it relaxing , alone. AND, then , i have the night all to me...AND I know I will have to energy and stamina to drink up all night...

I know some things cannot be bought...Can only be wished for...Love, care and yearning ...to be better!!!!!

the little monkey: my dear daughter!!

Today, I feel very motherly. I have this urge to be with her all the time, sometimes.

She looks so innocent and sweet...right? There is a little monkey inside that tiny body of hers', waiting for release.

She is on the go from the moment she opens her eyes, to the moment exhaustion finally gets to her.She is my life and I guess nothing or anyone can take her place.

But that is the same for every parent, for the kid to be all...so much so, that we forget to take care of ourselves, to forget about the need for a pedicure( I would love one but am usually too exhausted to go looking in Hanoi for a clean place),the need to cut my hair and to color - my hair has now officially more greys than blacks, the want of new clothes and also a nice massage. There, that is my wish list.

Pretty simple, right.

Wrong.

Whenever I have the slightest free time, I prefer to relax at home and also to sleep rather than go looking around this god forsaken city for a good but cheap place which would do all this for me. Also, if SW is around, I cannot seem to leave her side. There seems to be a inner me which does not tend to follow my outer self, which screams at me every time I look in the mirror - get a makeover.

I am a fashion designer, I am supposed to look great, follow fashion and be dressed to the nines. Unfortunately, I can give all the advice and all the knowledge, but if it comes to personally being an inspiration to my students, I fail miserably. I have morning breakfast stains, I have grey hair which desperately needs care and attention, I have not waxed in 2 weeks now and need one badly...I need a pedi and mani as well...Urgently.

I am just tired. Somehow.

Is there a way one can do all the chores, do their job, take care of the kid and still be dressed to kill... I think people can manage that...why cant I??

And I cannot blame SW for it all... She is a dear and who would not want to spend all their time with her...

Even when I get time even when she is in school, I do not go.What is this new weird thing to be unkept all the time??Is it Hanoi? This place is so dirty and polluted all the time and I guess I figure...What is the point?

Also, we are in this major budget and saving mode all the time..since we have never saved up before...We are now on super save mode...trying to save every bit we can...So that we can travel and also for emergencies. So now, even when we have money, I feel compelled to save it up. Have I become miserly??I used to be a person who would blow up everything by the 20th of every month and then wait out the remaining few days for the next salary...Now whether it is because of people around me, whether its for my daughter, or whether its just me...I have not a clue. But I sure know this....My life has changed!!! Drastically!!! And I would give an arm and a leg to have what I had in my college days - a great bod, A devil may care attitude, great sex life and a well groomed ,well coifed head of hair...

And I started this post for SW. Shit!! Well, I guess, another time and place...

PS: the pic can stay though...cute, isn't she?!!!!!!

lucid dreams part 2

For those who are into lucid dreams: here are some plants which can help you...read NOT dope or DMT....

there is a herb in dear old Me - he - co(Mexico) which the tribes use to achieve the most beautiful lucid dreams possible..or so they say!

Calea zacatechichi...so the dream herb, as it is called is used by the tribes to lucid dream. these are the plants which have effect only when you are asleep.

There are several other plants used in Indian communities of Mexico to obtain divinatory messages from dreams. Several puffball mushrooms (Lycoperdon spp.) wrongly reported as hallucinogens are eaten fresh by Mixtec Indians before going to bed in order to dream. Nahuatl Indians use an as yet unidentified species of Salvia, known by the name of Xiouit, for the same purpose. The Tarahumara Indians use a plant called "Bacana", which has been reported to be used as a divinatory agent, was later confirmed as an herb to help induce dreaming.

there are some plants in Africa as well, which are used by shamans in their rituals to induce a dream state.

So the thought process here : All the hocus pocus that you thought was usually associated with the rituals in Voodoo and other shaman religions have a base...And its interesting that normal people like us also experience this - of course without any plant induced haze...Though, I would love to try it out...No turning back on experiencing new things, right!!!??

The elusive lucid state...

I was just doing some research on, well, nothing...I sit and look up things on youtube when free because you stumble upon some amazing things. And today I did. Today's find: I came across this Dutch guy who is an electronics music composer and he has put his music online...btw, he does not have a CD or is he well known...But his work...I cannot begin to tell you how talented he is...and I was researching on dreams...I remember now.

My point????

Let me start over.

I started my research with lucid dreams... I love having them, obviously. They totally give you an experience to remember and when I wake, I feel like I have done something...had a great time, usually. I sometimes get my creative ideas from my dreams. So, coming back to youtube: When free, I go to National geographic or Discovery to see what they have in store for me. Today morning, as I had a wonderful lucid dream which I unfortunately remember nothing of, except the fact that it was wonderful, prompted me to do some research on the subject.

This is what I came up with: we can train our minds to have lucid dreams every night and they have helped people come up with creative inputs, solve problems and also to have a great time. As some guy put it, this is just a state of mind where the brain is unfettered by logic, leaving it to roam free and experience things like flying, dreamscapes etc...

The best part - the biggest inventors of the world - Einstein, Dali - all admitted to having dreamt up the solutions and ideas. Even today, NASA scientists get their ideas from lucid dreaming.

Would it not be wonderful if we could do all our thinking in the lucid dream state, wake up and then just start working. it will such a lovely utilization of time and imagine the ideas one can get. Dreams have always gotten crazy for me and I have had dreams from me being a spy to the proverbial flying experience...All I can tell you is that when you wake up, you actually feel like you did it and so disappointed that you are awake now.

What a lovely idea for a game, isn't it?We have X-box today and 3D games, but imagine a lucid dream box....takes you where you want to go and what you want ot do...all while sleeping. And my thought is not so far behind...the scientists have already developed a sleeping eye patch called the dreamer which helps a person have lucid dreams. You can teach yourself to recognise that you are in fact dreaming and all this is not real. after that is done...you can steer the dream into any direction you want.

AMAZING ...is it not?!!!!

Dying to sleep?Tell your brain to lucid dream...apparently the command helps as well..

Have fun!

Inner Mongolia and Xilamuren! crazy must see!!!

THE CRAZY FAMILY...

This trip was another end result of my continuos needling to go to Inner Mongolia...I mean who would not want to go to the endless grasslands, where horses ran free and no civilization for miles around, right? Ro was finally convinced and we booked our tickets from Beijing to Hohhot(pronounced Hu-he-ho-te), the capital of Inner Mongolia. From there, it was a long 2 hour drive to the grasslands.

En route, Ro decided that the taxi guy was fucking around and we had a fight, which resulted in him dumping us, baby and all, miles from any yurts. Yurts are the small tents that are put up on the grasslands and the only places you can stay in.

We had to walk for a good hour to get to the huts that you can see in the distance. That is the thing with these grasslands...you can see it and you think 'ohh..its so close,' but distances and time loose value. Its just open fields and it looks quiet but actually the noise in this place was deafening...crickets, the size of small mice, all singing away and the sheer numbers were staggering. I wager there was one cricket per inch of ground. We squished quite a few as we walked through this cricket land.

We decided to stay in small yurt settlement where the price for one night was a mere 100yuan..peanuts. The accomodation was not fancy either... but comfy. The whole yurt was basically a bed - with a hard cement rectangle to serve as the bed,on top of which countless pillows and mattresses were thrown, to make it really cosy. The top of the yurt had a small opening, through which the yurt received its ventilation. Apparently, this was very scientific and imperative to keep the yurt cool during the hot day and warm and cosy during the cold nights.

The couple who managed the 5 yurts were very sweet and had an old tattered picture of Genghis Khan in the common eating room. Wow...All my history lessons just come flooding back to me as I realize that these people are perhaps direct descendants. They had 3 horses and whenever they wanted to get some supplies, they would clamber on and ride to the nearest village - Damao.

This place is so much better explained with pictures...have fun!

SW..perfect beauty. I wish I was this lucky when I was young...

Posing away...

Birds on a wire.

Show off...

We went to the nearby village - Damao, for a look. It was such a cute place,with a really old monastery and some even older looking monks. The wind here is so strong and dusty that even the younger lot look 10 years older. We wandered around for a while and then started looking for ways to get back. It was going to be dark soon and we had no transport back. An old guy kindly offered us a lift at the back of his tempo...We were so pleased but when he opened the back, I almost threw up. You see, the tempo was used to transport goat meat around, and there were kidneys, entrails and large amounts of blood. If he wanted us to get in there, he must be joking.

We finally found another tempo, no cleaner, but at least there were no body parts around.

The night at the grassland was a full moon night...the beauty has to be experienced - i can try to convey in words but it will be futile. I will leave it to your imagination.

Next morning: clean up and shit time before getting back to ol' Beijing. The only problem - there are no toilets in the grasslands - the whole place can be used...'go anywhere'...we were told. Now there is one small hut that people apparently went to, to relieve themselves. I decided to check it out, and was greeted to the replay of the potty scene from Slumdog Millionaire. Before this, I had just thought that these kind of places were made up, not real. But Hell, I can tell you, whatever urges you have, automatically stop.I decided to hold it in till we reached the airport. Not ideal, but way better than that.

All in all, I have to say that Inner Mongolia was a trip high on my list of best places visited. The experience was so surreal and other-worldly that there cannot be any comparisons or words to describe it. You have to go there to see it.

Footnote: When we were leaving, the old Mongolian couple in all seriousness, took me aside and told me whether I can leave my baby with them - for ever. They wanted to keep her and take care of her. They could not have children and they wanted my beautiful baby...' nu er piao liao'... was their reason...'girl very beautiful'(btw, in China and in most places, people go nuts when they see her...I have had crowds gather around me and follow me around, all the time, ogling at her.The attention is frustrating and irritating...esp...Ro with his temper, can be quite rude and a situation always develops). Needless to say, it was pretty freaky.

UP YOURS!!!!!!!!!

I AM PISSED!!!so pissed...I did not ask for this opportunity to come knocking on my door and when it did, I was pleasantly surprised. Then I got the rude jolt - I am in a communist country, also a racist country which believes all that Arirang TV tells them(a very popular Korean TV channel which the Viets watch and take all as the gospel truth). Apparently I was not white...obviously....or my accent was too Indian...I do not have an Indian accent - a more global accent is how I would describe it, but if they had told me before, i would have put on a fake horrible American Accent...I am proud of the fact that I am Indian and I just cannot take this discrimination any more.I have made fun of Indians who come suddenly to a foreign country and no one can understand their English...but seriously, I never expected to be bracketed in the same category.

Ok...let me tell you from the beginning...I got a call from the local TV news station wondering if I would be interested in hosting an expat show regarding what else...the expat population in Vietnam.This would also include travel, since it focuses on all the expats in entire Vietnam...and I was super excited...albeit just for the chance to meet new people and travel on someone else's expense.

I was required to give my PTC - piece to camera to check whether I am camera friendly, which I did with full confidence - I had done this before.

Now, after a week of waiting, I get the 'sorry' message from my to be producer - who loved me btw, that his director 'likes your natural way of presenting and your confidence but unfortunately, she doesn't like your accent :( I tried to persuade her that accent should not be a problem to shows like this but she didn't seem to change her opinion.'

Now what am I to make of this? It is an expat show hosted by an expat...I know for a fact that I was clear and that people could understand me. If I was a white girl with an American accent, I guess they would have jumped on the bandwagon without even a PTC.

As said before, I am PISSED!!! more at loosing a good opportunity or the fact that I am being discriminated against...I do not know but this is plain unfair!!!! Plus, Ro told me that I would never get this, and I kept arguing that I had done a good job...bah!!!!

Now I have to eat humble pie at home....Yeah..this is the part I am most pissed at!

thit cho...

I have a pretty strong stomach. Or so I thought.

Until I came to Nam.

I was used to seeing all manner of creepy crawlies on the plate in Beijing but nothing prepared me for dog meat - thit cho - which all Viets eat with gusto, every month end. It is supposed to be good for the heart and for sex drive..really??!!!

I quickly learnt to avert my eyes every time we passed the street vendors at the corner of most wet markets in Hanoi. The main problem being that the Viets believed in advertising what they were selling. The dog is roasted whole, teeth, tail, eyes and all. And then cut and sold to the line of people waiting to eat thit cho.

Ro and me had this argument when he kept saying that dogs were bred specially for this purpose and that they were like sheep or pigs. My p.o.v? Dogs are pets, they live with us because man wanted their companionship and they do not have any natural predators. Sheep, pigs and all other animals in the wild all have natural predators. Have you ever noticed that wild dogs are at the top of the food chain and will even chase away lions and tigers to get to the kill. A fight between a lion and 3 Hyenas, also a variation of the dog species, will usually be evenly matched.

Anyway, enough of the wildlife lecture...the whole case in point? The poor dog has now a predator - man, who it thought, was a friend. They have a thinking brain and are man's companion..or so they say...not in Nam - they are eaten like cattle,pigs and hens...(Note: pigs are supposed to be more intelligent than dogs..any thoughts?)

I stuck resolutely to my resolve never to try the meat. I am aware of all the arguments on trying new things and being adventurous, but surely there has to be a better way to prove that I have an adventurous spirit.

Soon afterward, we went on a weekend trip to a small town 70 km from Hanoi. The trip is a completely different story but what we passed on the way to this small town completely shook me. I had somehow agreed to what Ro had said, in some corner of my brain, that there must be places where these dogs are bred specially for the meat and that they were treated like sheep or pigs.

We saw a lot of cages along the way in which a lot of street dogs were kept. I thought nothing of it until I saw one in a separate cage and 2-3 guys cutting up one already dead dog, in front of the other silent dogs. The dog in the cage was whining like it was in pain already( it obviously knew what was in store). I stood transfixed. I could not take my eyes off the scene and walk away. Ro stopped to take pics and the whole scene is reliving itself in front of my eyes now as I write this. The dogs were normal street dogs - obviously coerced to come with the men and then caged up. ( I do have the pics but will not put them up...I frankly do not want to open the folder ever again)

I was distraught. Ro told me by way of comfort that the dogs were first electrocuted - stunned and then cut up. Thanks a lot.

End note:Ro tried Thit cho in the village - and hated the meat. Was it because of what we saw? Is the taste just bad?We will never know, but I do know this - i will not try it. Ever. Not in a million years. Also having second thoughts now about snake blood and snake meat...But that is also another story.

I do not understand humans!!!!!!!

Alone - amidst the Ruins of Myson

We decide, finally(after much persuasion from my side), to go to Myson from Hoi an. These are the so called famous ruins in Central Vietnam - 'the inferior sister to Angkor Vat, but majestic in their own right.'

Always the history buff, I wanted a looksie and Ro was dead set against the idea of wasting an entire day in some old dilapidated buildings.Now the bus ride there was lovely, amid a continuous line of uninterrupted green...of thick impenetrable jungle.I was in high spirits, albeit having to tolerate a glum and grumpy husband beside me. I am sure everyone has heard stories of the Nam war and how the Joes had to hack through walls of green...I was right there and loving it!!!!

However, Ro, till now, playing the grumps to the T, did an absolute about turn - he declared that this was lovely and exciting and wanted to spend the night here, leaving a very suspicious me, to ponder the minds of men...or the lack of it(and yes, I do believe all men are like that and they deserve this generalization here).

And, come again?...he wants to spend the night here..amid snakes and huge insects I do not even know the name of...please! And I should know....Being a big fan of National Geographic..I usually do know most of the general species on this earth..duh....BTW, you just need to have paid attention in Biology but that is an other story..unlike my better half who until a few days ago, did not know that whales were not fish but mammals...

Anyway, coming back to the story, it is an hour's easy trek (they have made roads up to the ruins - what a waste) and we stop for some chow in a small cafe at mid point. The owner, a handsome young Viet, told us cheerfully that we could stay the night if we want to, at a restaurant down below - they have basic rooms but to beware of snakes and wild animals, as

they sometimes do venture into the rooms.Thanks a lot mate, for putting ideas into both our minds - totally opposing thoughts, I might add. He also informed us that no one ever stays there as the main town is so close by, everyone just prefers to make it a day trip. after all, who wants to stay in absolute isolation in the middle of the jungle...Apparently we did!!! I could see by the way Ro's eyes lit up that I was going to have a sleepless night amid creatures of the wild!!

the ruins were absolutely stunning and SW woke up promptly right in time to explore the ruins with us. She slept peacefully on my back( we have a very convenient baby backpack which makes life oh so easy while traveling the way we do).

Happily 'stoned'...

Now for the most difficult part - to look for accommodation in this jungle. I know the guy told us about the restaurant which also gave out rooms but I was praying that they were closed or something would go wrong and we would have to go back... i will pretend to be upset and all, but I was dying to be back in civilization now...What had I gotten myself into?

Needless to say, my prayers were not answered and we got a passable room behind the huge restaurant complex - beside an abandoned marble and stone quarry. The whole place had an eerie calm to it. Add to this, the place was also a statue museum. Thousands of statues, some finished - huge and grand, others - half done and abandoned, as if in a hurry. The whole place was covered in moss and slippery as hell. The room smelled of mold and the sheets were damp. I quake to even think of putting SW to sleep on this bed. I check carefully for bed bugs and other creepy crawlies. Thankfully I have my own sheet for emergencies like this.

View from across the restaurant...

The only thing we had to do in a place like this was to get stoned as hell...no other way could I survive in this place and be sane. The place taught me a lot about myself. We all long and harp about seclusion and utter peace.I complain about the noise and pollution and the stupid people all around me...but when I actually have all the things here that I want, I am, for some reason, shit scared.

Needless to say, SW loved the countless things she could explore and was busy...the stones, bugs, grass, moss..everything had to be touched and the ants...omg...all the ants had to be touched and peered at. Well, it gave us some much needed time to get happily stoned and talk about the mundane but important stuff that couples need to talk about.It was a lovely day.

The excitement is not over yet.Come evening, and we decide that we should go out and eat at this tiny roadside cafe (Dhaba for us Indians ) we saw along the way. We walk slowly and happily stoned, to the front of the restaurant and discover that the owners have locked us in. They have forgotten about us and have boarded and locked all the entrances. If we want to get out, we have to climb the wall...which we did..

This was not what worried me, what got my goat was that there was not one soul around us for miles and we were in the middle of Nam's dense jungles. We were truly in isolation. Freaking out, freaking out, someone help me!!!Add to this, some 15 dogs who live in the compound, have gathered around us and are all sitting calmly in a circle around us, as if waiting for us to die or something. I am telling you, it is like a scene from a horror movie....any ideas required for one, come meet me.

No one around...

Ok...calm breadths, count to 10...everything is going to be fine. SW is loving it and so is Ro..he looks as if its is birthday. Hmm, he hates birthdays so let me rephrase.. he looks as if someone has gifted him an entire bottle of Old Monk...its just me freaking out.

We leave the spooky place and walk down in rain (yes, its raining on cue like some crappy hindi horror film), absolute darkness and silence towards the one sole light shinning in the distance. Ro, you should be happy I had the foresight to carry the torch...And you complain about my packing in useless stuff.

The light at the end of the tunnel - we have a cheerful family who greets us at the small cafe and they have ducks, hens and geese at the back like a mini zoo...as playthings for SW. Great, something for the kid and some hard liquor for me.

Needless to say, we had to go back the same way, over the wall, and thankfully, I was too wasted to care about the bugs in my room at the end of it all. Still, I had a restless night and was raring to go back the next day.

This is my story of me getting as close as possible to camping in the wild, amid bugs, animals and discomfort. It all seems very romantic to watch on National geographic, but I know my limitations...am I a snob, a city dweller, person who cannot rough it out? I dont think so - I have done some crazy treks before, but this seriously freaked me out. Also,now I know why the Americans lost.

AND I HEARD THE SCREAM OF A BUTTERFLY

Journey to Hoi an and central parts of Vietnam

This was going to be our first big trip after transferring to Hanoi from Beijing and I was frankly a bit terrified. I did not know what was in store for us and what kind of weather would greet us in the beach towns of Danang and Hoi an.

As always, we did everything last minute and ended up with horrible train tickets - 6 berths in one cramped room...no wonder I was not looking forward. Thankfully we planned to get off whenever we wanted and that was a small relief. The train went all the way to Nha trang and we had no plans to go that far...just wanted to buy the tickets till there I guess...yeah...tell me about it!!

the journey was not bad - for me - I had the bottom berth and Ro had to give up his for 2 very old people who joined us in our cramped space. SW was absolutely thrilled and would not sit still for even a minute...I dont blame her, I remember my train journeys when I was a kid...i wonder how my parents coped with me - I was a hyper active kid and I was threatened all the time with a huge injection up my ass to put me to sleep...Now that I think about it, it sounds strangely perverse.Anyway, we ended up having a blast with the old couple and their grandson.

SW with her new friends...

We hopped off the next day at Danang - at 12:00 pm and went straight to the beach - Mykhe. And as anticipated, it was raining. We ducked into the first big seafood restaurant we could see and ate as if there was no tomorrow. And the Bill -50 USD, which is huge anywhere in Vietnam...but we were on holiday mode and it did not deter us in the least that we had blown our budget to bits...(have Jumbo Shrimp if you ever go to Danang - the best ever)

It was still pouring - tell me about it - we decide to go straight to Hoian and stay there for a few days. it took us 1 hour and we arrived at the Venice of Vietnam. The town was full of canals and had the sea coming into the town in places mixing with fresh water. The place was out of this world. We had found our parking spot for the next few days.

Decadence was the word - eat, drink cheap locally made fresh beer and lay around all day...what else could we ask for. One of the cafes was Dream Cafe - and the walls were just covered with grafitti - and some doped out traveller had posted - ' and i heard the scream of a butterfly' - and I was transfixed. This is what I travel for, these weird, insane, and totally amazing things that I usually am lucky enough to see.

and as he says...buy a guitar, not a gun!!!!!

KERALA – GOD’S OWN COUNTRY WITH DEVIL’S OWN PEOPLE

To bring you up to date, we had quite an arduous journey arriving in Vailar, Kerala. We crossed three states in one day and were exhausted at all levels when the semi sleeper bus deposited us at 4:00am opposite the Chertala railway station.

My older, very protective cousin had given us strict instructions to wait outside and not attempt to arrive home by ourselves. The moment we got down from the bus, I realized that I did not have my wallet with me. I rummaged around our countless things for the next 5 minutes pretending to find tissues. Finally I had to break it to my husband, Ro, that I did not have the money bag. All hell broke loose as we stood and argued outside the train station, resulting in an annoyed baby and a very surprised and sleepy crowd slowly gathering around us.

My cousin, M, finally arrived and we gave chase to the bus which had left 15 minutes earlier. After a few kilometers, we finally resigned ourselves to our fate and turned back. Our journey had to be cut short. There were close to USD 100 in the wallet. We had thankfully divided our money before we left so we still had some cash but it would not be enough to explore the state as we had planned. When we arrived home, I opened the baby bags and behold, there was the offending wallet. We were back on track. We were in Kerala, amid the backwaters, near the ocean and it looked like heaven.

Morning greeted us with the fresh aroma of dosas and chutney, a staple breakfast food in Kerala. We hogged like 3 famine victims and proceeded on to a nice calm walk along the countless coconut trees and small lakes around the house. The house was a very old traditional south Indian home with a huge front courtyard and cool red colored flooring. The air smelled fresh and the day seemed full of promise. The area had a flourishing coir (raw material from the coconut tree) industry and all the households were busy making rope and baskets.

The beach near Chertala was not for swimming. The sea was very rough and one could hear the roar of the sea for miles around.

The backwater boat rides are what make Kerala famous. Its simple people have become very cunning and worldly wise in extracting the maximum from the tourists who flock to Kerala in droves, be it to enjoy the backwater rides, the numerous beaches, the massages, the mouth watering cuisine or the dangerous martial arts and dance forms. It remains God’s country but the people have apparently crossed over to the evil side – or so they say.

The backwater rides in Vailar were very cheap at only 70 cents per person, in contrast to Allepy, where after hard bargaining, we got a nice boat for 3 hours without lunch at USD 21. To be fair, the boat ride in Allepy was more the real deal with beautiful clear waters and a nice big vessel. My baby, SW, really had the best seat right on top of the hull where she promptly fell sleep, lulled by the soothing rhythm of the boat, leaving the hassled parents to finally relax and enjoy the calm.

A small suggestion – 3 hours is a long time so unless you want to have lunch, 2 hours is more than enough. We hopped off after 2 hours and headed to a nice restaurant called Arcadia for a wonderful south Indian style fish curry and rice (warning: very spicy and not for the faint hearted).

In the evening, we really wanted to visit a nice beach and my cousins took us to Marari beach in Alappuzha. This was actually an eco friendly resort where they had a private beach. The resort was simply breathtaking with its own butterfly and flower garden and water treatment system. The beach was perfect – white sand, a rough sea with the sun setting on the horizon.

We were to leave for Varkala the next day. We had heard only good things about this place – a dream town with a cobbled pathway running along the edge of a cliff, with quaint places to stay along this path. One could lay awake all night, listening to the waves crashing against the cliff wall.

We got train tickets at a very cheap USD 12 for the three of us. The journey was beautiful with a lovely view and comfortable seats. Arriving in Varkala, we quickly realized that there were 2 parts to the town, one on top of the cliff and the other cheaper option, downtown. We decided to check out this hotel called Santa Clauz at the top. We saw the place and we knew we had touched base. I had never seen a prettier sight. The place was a cheap USD10 per night and the rooms were excellent and sea facing. A few steps forward and you reached the edge of the cliff. It was a trek to reach the beach every day but we relished the cool sea after the walk.

There were countless restaurants and shops all along the edge of the cliff and amazing seafood. I would greatly recommend Funky art café and Sunshine café. All places had both western and Indian cuisine and an extensive choice. Needless to say, the following days were spent in utter decadence, relaxing and lazing on the beach, shopping, getting massages and hogging on excellent seafood.

This was what made it all worthwhile; the horrible journeys, the tensions and the continuous nagging thought to move on, until you reach a place where it would be a pleasure, not an obligation, to stay a while and rest.

Two borders, Three states, ONE day

To find the perfect place, one has to persevere. We learnt that all too well when we decided to take a trip all along the coast of Kerala in southern India. To reach the coast, we had to travel through some pretty rough places.

We are a small family of 3, my baby girl being only 18 months at the time. Ro, my husband is an impatient man with a mission – travel as much as possible and make it as inconvenient as possible for self and said companions. That, apparently, is the perfect way to cover more ground and learn more about the place. Case in point – a whirlwind journey from Bangalore to Kerala to find the perfect beach and to know more about our own country.

So we arrived in Bangalore, a huge metropolitan city in south India, (note: we had arrived just 2 days before from Beijing to Delhi and onto Bangalore) only to be getting onto a bus to Ooty, a small but beautiful hill station in Tamil Nadu. The bus station in Bangalore – Majestic – was easily the world’s most chaotic place. It was jam packed with people shouting, buses honking for no reason and the smells were just overpowering, even for us Indians.

The bus ride was cheap at only USD 15 for the 3 of us. The bus left at 9:45 pm and deposited us at Ooty at 5:30 am. The ride was extremely uncomfortable, even with us occupying 5 seats. Talk about only getting our money’s worth.

Udagamandalam, or Ooty was deliciously cold and fresh after the bus ride from hell. But as the day dawned, we realized that there was nothing more to the place apart from a smelly lake. I had heard the place was beautiful, only I did not see it and had no patience to explore further.

This was definitely not our destination. So we decided to hop on to Coonoor, another pretty hill station just a few hours away by ‘toy train’, complete with steam engine and baby bogeys. The cost was a joke at 20 cents per person and you got to ride in this amazing-looking antique which took you at a slow 25km/hour and passed through numerous tunnels. The crowd was boisterous and full of youngsters screaming every time the train entered a tunnel.

The train stopped at this really quaint looking station where people stared at us like we were from another planet. The reason – I was trying to open SW's pram. The people had obviously never seen a collapsible pram before, much less seeing a mother trusting her baby to a contraption like that.

No surprises, we did not like Coonoor either. The place was polluted and teeming with people. We were looking for a sleepy hill town to spend a few days in. Is that too much to ask? I suggested we move on to Coimbatore, a major town in Tamil Nadu from where we could get a bus to Kerala, aptly dubbed ‘God’s own country’. We could not find any trains so we decided to hire a cab to Coimbatore. My baby and I decided to rest our tired feet in a small tea stall; frankly, it was my feet that were protesting against this sudden change from their usual sedentary lifestyle…I live in Beijing and my normal day has none of all the drama and strenuous activity. But I would not miss this for the world. I admit I was not enjoying it at the time, but now when I look back, I am glad we didn’t waste time in any of these inconsequential places because there is always something better lined up ahead.

We finally got a cabbie to drive us in a nice A/c car to Coimbatore. We bargained heavily and got the price lowered from USD26 to USD17. This was a great plan as just after two and a half hours in Coonoor, we were back on the road again.

My baby was blissfully asleep when we finally stopped for lunch…our first proper meal of the day at Madikerai. We reached Coimbatore within two hours.

I had heard that Coimbatore is a very traditional town and the people are not very open-minded. We learnt this firsthand as we were turned away from every single hotel. Was it our faces? We are Indian; we just did not look the part. Complete with pram and rucksacks, all the locals mistook us for some ‘unclean’ foreigners and plainly lied to our faces saying all the rooms were full. In 7 hotels, all the rooms were full. Imagine the level of frustration when you were lugging a crying baby and backpacks in a 40 degrees heat wave in the afternoon.

We finally found a hotel which took pity on our sunburnt faces and gave us a shitty room at the most atrocious price – USD33 a night. We collapsed and were dead to the world for 3 hours. We collectively decided that spending a night here is a complete waste of time and decided to push forward to Allepy, the first town in Kerala on our agenda. I have relatives there who had kindly offered to host us for 3 nights.

10:30 pm found us impatiently waiting for the night bus to Kerala. We would arrive at 4:00am in the morning and our stop was Chertala railway station and we were to stay in a small village near Allepy called Vailar. Parents and baby were fast asleep as the bus started moving.

The next morning dawned with us staring sleep eyed at unbroken green and the most peaceful vista – coconut trees, dirt roads and the refreshing smell of morning rain amid the calm backwaters of Vailar. We were the only people for miles around. Welcome to God’s own country – Kerala. We could not help but wonder – what a mad 24 hours!