the little monkey: my dear daughter!!

Today, I feel very motherly. I have this urge to be with her all the time, sometimes.

She looks so innocent and sweet...right? There is a little monkey inside that tiny body of hers', waiting for release.

She is on the go from the moment she opens her eyes, to the moment exhaustion finally gets to her.She is my life and I guess nothing or anyone can take her place.

But that is the same for every parent, for the kid to be all...so much so, that we forget to take care of ourselves, to forget about the need for a pedicure( I would love one but am usually too exhausted to go looking in Hanoi for a clean place),the need to cut my hair and to color - my hair has now officially more greys than blacks, the want of new clothes and also a nice massage. There, that is my wish list.

Pretty simple, right.

Wrong.

Whenever I have the slightest free time, I prefer to relax at home and also to sleep rather than go looking around this god forsaken city for a good but cheap place which would do all this for me. Also, if SW is around, I cannot seem to leave her side. There seems to be a inner me which does not tend to follow my outer self, which screams at me every time I look in the mirror - get a makeover.

I am a fashion designer, I am supposed to look great, follow fashion and be dressed to the nines. Unfortunately, I can give all the advice and all the knowledge, but if it comes to personally being an inspiration to my students, I fail miserably. I have morning breakfast stains, I have grey hair which desperately needs care and attention, I have not waxed in 2 weeks now and need one badly...I need a pedi and mani as well...Urgently.

I am just tired. Somehow.

Is there a way one can do all the chores, do their job, take care of the kid and still be dressed to kill... I think people can manage that...why cant I??

And I cannot blame SW for it all... She is a dear and who would not want to spend all their time with her...

Even when I get time even when she is in school, I do not go.What is this new weird thing to be unkept all the time??Is it Hanoi? This place is so dirty and polluted all the time and I guess I figure...What is the point?

Also, we are in this major budget and saving mode all the time..since we have never saved up before...We are now on super save mode...trying to save every bit we can...So that we can travel and also for emergencies. So now, even when we have money, I feel compelled to save it up. Have I become miserly??I used to be a person who would blow up everything by the 20th of every month and then wait out the remaining few days for the next salary...Now whether it is because of people around me, whether its for my daughter, or whether its just me...I have not a clue. But I sure know this....My life has changed!!! Drastically!!! And I would give an arm and a leg to have what I had in my college days - a great bod, A devil may care attitude, great sex life and a well groomed ,well coifed head of hair...

And I started this post for SW. Shit!! Well, I guess, another time and place...

PS: the pic can stay though...cute, isn't she?!!!!!!